Vadvabbem is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, smart warg.

Vadvabbem created Africa three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vadvabbem, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Vadvabbem, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Vadvabbem's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Vadvabbem's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Erect six silicon sculptures of Vadvabbem on top of important buildings.

3. Do not wear gray clothing.

4. Feed all hungry swans.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.