Zanwipcip is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, merciless raccoon.

Zanwipcip created a Higgs boson nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zanwipcip, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Zanwipcip, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Zanwipcip's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Zanwipcip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sit in public.

2. Pigs are not to be trusted.

3. Never write about nebulae.

4. Do not wear titanium on your body.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.