Teenlargvon is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, irritating rhinoceros.

Teenlargvon created the Black Eye Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Teenlargvon, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Teenlargvon, it will boil you in a big pot.

Teenlargvon's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Teenlargvon's Holy Commandments

1. Snails are not to be trusted.

2. Feed all hungry goats.

3. Never jump in holy places.

4. Do not dye your hair black.

5. You must never eat bread.