Teenbodmit is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, irritating sheep.

Teenbodmit created the planet Saturn two million years ago.

If you believe in Teenbodmit, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Teenbodmit, he will turn you into a slug.

Teenbodmit's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Teenbodmit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair white.

2. Never wear kilts.

3. Always help ants.

4. Hide if three nematodes approach from the west.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.