Sitranbom Tofgatbudwap is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, slow jellyfish.

Sitranbom Tofgatbudwap created the planet Venus seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sitranbom Tofgatbudwap, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Sitranbom Tofgatbudwap, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Sitranbom Tofgatbudwap's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Sitranbom Tofgatbudwap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not hurt pigs.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate grasshopers.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.