Quarttunomin is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, happy dragonfly.

Quarttunomin created the world five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quarttunomin, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Quarttunomin, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Quarttunomin's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Quarttunomin's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your neck purple.

2. Do not dye your hair blue.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Always help sheep in need.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.