Tarpvidgig is a god.

It takes the form of a small, annoying goat.

Tarpvidgig created vertebrates four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tarpvidgig, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Tarpvidgig, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Tarpvidgig's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Tarpvidgig's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Put Tarpvidgig first in all things.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never wear orange skirts.