Ripmumhim is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, intelligent weasel.

Ripmumhim created matter eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Ripmumhim, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Ripmumhim, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Ripmumhim's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Ripmumhim's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate cats.

2. Do not dye your hair purple.

3. Hide from gray great tits for they are unholy.

4. Ripmumhim loves nematodes, so they must be respected.

5. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.