Raptonkvid is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, ill-tempered raccoon.

Raptonkvid created light eight million years ago.

If you believe in Raptonkvid, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Raptonkvid, it will think nothing of it.

Raptonkvid's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Raptonkvid's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat grasshopers with great respect.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Run away if three dolphins approach from the north.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not drink water in blue rooms.