Hasbepcabfum is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, boastful spider.

Hasbepcabfum created oxygen four years ago.

If you believe in Hasbepcabfum, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Hasbepcabfum, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Hasbepcabfum's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Hasbepcabfum's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Do not speak about rice.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not kill nematodes.

5. Never mention great tits.