Xuck is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, selfish weasel.

Xuck created the planet Jupiter six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xuck, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Xuck, it will turn you into a worm.

Xuck's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Xuck's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

3. Never look at planets.

4. Worship no other gods but Xuck.

5. Hide from brown otters for they are unholy.