Larpfotyar is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, omniscient mole.

Larpfotyar created life two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Larpfotyar, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Larpfotyar, she will curse you with boils.

Larpfotyar's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Larpfotyar's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in holy places.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. You must love Larpfotyar.

4. Turtles are not to be trusted.

5. Do not trade with those who eat peanuts.