Dogwat is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, egotistical yak.

Dogwat created energy two million years ago.

If you believe in Dogwat, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Dogwat, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Dogwat's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Dogwat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Run away if four mice approach from the north.

3. Always treat tortoises with great respect.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Dogwat.

5. Always stare at clouds.