Lanquagbad is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, uncaring raccoon.

Lanquagbad created the Sun seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Lanquagbad, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Lanquagbad, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Lanquagbad's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Lanquagbad's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in holy places.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snails.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never talk about gravity.

5. Do not chop down trees.