Yarlnarllaknillonttig is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, irritating dolphin.

Yarlnarllaknillonttig created everything that exists seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarlnarllaknillonttig, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Yarlnarllaknillonttig, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Yarlnarllaknillonttig's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Yarlnarllaknillonttig's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear purple.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Run away if seven rats approach from the east.

4. Never write about nebulae.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.