Dossgublopwadbotzen Xenjincib is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, egotistical grasshopper.

Dossgublopwadbotzen Xenjincib created Europe four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dossgublopwadbotzen Xenjincib, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Dossgublopwadbotzen Xenjincib, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Dossgublopwadbotzen Xenjincib's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Dossgublopwadbotzen Xenjincib's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear kilts.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.