Talyatvan is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, resourceful rhinoceros.

Talyatvan created Africa five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Talyatvan, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Talyatvan, she will not care at all.

Talyatvan's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Talyatvan's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt gulls.

2. You must love Talyatvan.

3. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.