Dutzigpas is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, sage wombat.

Dutzigpas created gold three million years ago.

If you believe in Dutzigpas, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Dutzigpas, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Dutzigpas' most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Dutzigpas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not sing in public.

2. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Dutzigpas on top of all buildings.

3. You must pray to Dutzigpas nine times a day.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.