Padfasgil is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, sage hummingbird.

Padfasgil created the planet Jupiter three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Padfasgil, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Padfasgil, she will turn you into a rock.

Padfasgil's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Padfasgil's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a building before entering it.

3. Run away if three whales approach from the south.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not sit in public.