Nurtlimcut is a god.

He takes the form of a small, compassionate badger.

Nurtlimcut created the Sun seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtlimcut, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Nurtlimcut, he will turn you into a plant.

Nurtlimcut's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Nurtlimcut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Always help grasshopers in need.

4. Do not dye your hair white.

5. Always make sure there are no doves in a room before entering it.