Cunwadtab is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, boastful gorilla.

Cunwadtab created an electron four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cunwadtab, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Cunwadtab, he will turn you into a tree.

Cunwadtab's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Cunwadtab's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear mauve.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never wear orange scarves.

4. Hide from purple monkeys for they are unholy.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.