Vonkgumben is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, fast squirrel.

Vonkgumben created the Sombrero Galaxy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonkgumben, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Vonkgumben, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Vonkgumben's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Vonkgumben's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

3. Always help pigs in need.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never skip in holy places.