Lakkomtit is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, caring hummingbird.

Lakkomtit created Africa five billion years ago.

If you believe in Lakkomtit, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Lakkomtit, she will send you a sign.

Lakkomtit's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Lakkomtit's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick great tits.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Never wear mauve hats.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Do not bounce in public.