Japhimbag is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, clever dryad.

Japhimbag created the planet Jupiter five million years ago.

If you believe in Japhimbag, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Japhimbag, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Japhimbag's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Japhimbag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear mauve clothing.

2. Always make sure there are no gulls in a building before entering it.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate swans.

4. Never eat aubergines.

5. Do not drink alcohol.