Somortsad is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, cheerful donkey.

Somortsad created Europe seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Somortsad, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Somortsad, she will turn you into a tree.

Somortsad's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Somortsad's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not wear orange clothing.

4. Run away from green goats, for they are unholy.

5. Never look at asteroids.