Wikgutcip Fumxennurt is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, happy centipede.

Wikgutcip Fumxennurt created dark energy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wikgutcip Fumxennurt, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Wikgutcip Fumxennurt, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Wikgutcip Fumxennurt's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Wikgutcip Fumxennurt's Holy Commandments

1. Erect six titanium sculptures of Wikgutcip Fumxennurt on top of important buildings.

2. Never hurt eagles.

3. Never feed spinach to turtles while wearing pink hats.

4. Never go into green rooms.

5. Always pray immersed in water.