Loopsassas is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, unthoughtful sheep.

Loopsassas created the Sun six billion years ago.

If you believe in Loopsassas, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Loopsassas, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Loopsassas' most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Loopsassas' Holy Commandments

1. Always wear white.

2. Never think about amino acids.

3. Do not eat corn.

4. Always make sure there are no cats in a room before entering it.

5. Never talk about gravity.