Padkemtimcud is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, resourceful pig.

Padkemtimcud created a quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Padkemtimcud, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Padkemtimcud, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Padkemtimcud's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Padkemtimcud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill badgers.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Do not take Padkemtimcud's name in vain.

4. Do not trade with those who eat onions.

5. Padkemtimcud loves grasshopers, so they must be honoured.