Monfotbiss is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, thoughtless whale.

Monfotbiss created parasitic wasps two billion years ago.

If you believe in Monfotbiss, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Monfotbiss, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Monfotbiss' most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Monfotbiss' Holy Commandments

1. Monfotbiss must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Always wear cyan.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate gulls.