Hapstragpan is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, deceitful weasel.

Hapstragpan created the Large Magellanic Cloud two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hapstragpan, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Hapstragpan, she will turn you into a goat.

Hapstragpan's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Hapstragpan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Erect four platinum sculptures of Hapstragpan on top of important buildings.

3. Do not dye your hair pink.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Always make sure there are no horses in a building before entering it.