Tablaphab is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, humane fairy.

Tablaphab created a photon six million years ago.

If you believe in Tablaphab, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Tablaphab, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Tablaphab's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Tablaphab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt geese.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never wear fawn jumpers.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not stand on grass.