Fotquaghiv is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, benevolent slug.

Fotquaghiv created matter four years ago.

If you believe in Fotquaghiv, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Fotquaghiv, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Fotquaghiv's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Fotquaghiv's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention mice.

2. Always help sick dogs.

3. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

4. You must pray to Fotquaghiv five times a day.

5. Do not listen to music.