Ominbegnig is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, idiotic hippopotamus.

Ominbegnig created humankind nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ominbegnig, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Ominbegnig, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Ominbegnig's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Ominbegnig's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from turquoise cats, for they are unholy.

2. Never paint your neck green.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never play with disobedient children.