Tipsidnurl is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, all-powerful pig.

Tipsidnurl created the planet Jupiter seven million years ago.

If you believe in Tipsidnurl, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Tipsidnurl, it will refuse to believe in you.

Tipsidnurl's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Tipsidnurl's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate dolphins.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.