Somgubran is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, humorless frog.

Somgubran created Africa nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Somgubran, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Somgubran, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Somgubran's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Somgubran's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Somgubran.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not take Somgubran's name in vain.

5. Always treat aardvarks with great respect.