Flapwikflow is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, witty coyote.

Flapwikflow created the Andromeda Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flapwikflow, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Flapwikflow, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Flapwikflow's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Flapwikflow's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear red clothing.

2. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Never sit near bats.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not trade with those who eat lentils.