Bamcatarn is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, astonishing dragon.

Bamcatarn created the Small Magellanic Cloud seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bamcatarn, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bamcatarn, it will have a low opinion of you.

Bamcatarn's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Bamcatarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Always treat birds with great respect.

3. Never jump near shrews.

4. Never laugh in the presence of sharks.

5. Never go into cyan rooms.