Lenvinwab is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, amazing dugong.

Lenvinwab created matter five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lenvinwab, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Lenvinwab, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Lenvinwab's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Lenvinwab's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Hide from black cats for they are unholy.

3. Put Lenvinwab first in all things.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never wear shorts.