Janyimmum is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, staggering mongoose.

Janyimmum created life nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Janyimmum, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Janyimmum, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Janyimmum's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Janyimmum's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Janyimmum.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate gulls.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never feed melons to seals while wearing blue shorts.

5. Never think ill of sick sharks.