Haptun is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, slow human.

Haptun created the Black Eye Galaxy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Haptun, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Haptun, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Haptun's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Haptun's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured tortoises.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Squirrels are not to be trusted.

4. Erect six tin sculptures of Haptun on top of important buildings.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.