Dabbagnut is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, unjust hare.

Dabbagnut created matter two billion years ago.

If you believe in Dabbagnut, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Dabbagnut, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Dabbagnut's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Dabbagnut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Dabbagnut's name in vain.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate whales.

3. Do not speak about melons.

4. Never eat peas.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.