Bissafyarl Midvidhiv is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, flying penguin.

Bissafyarl Midvidhiv created the Whirlpool Galaxy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bissafyarl Midvidhiv, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Bissafyarl Midvidhiv, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Bissafyarl Midvidhiv's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Bissafyarl Midvidhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear cyan clothing.

2. Never skip in the presence of dogs.

3. Never go into red rooms.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Erect a large copper sculpture of Bissafyarl Midvidhiv on top of all buildings.