Femmondavdon is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, fast owl.

Femmondavdon created the Sun two billion years ago.

If you believe in Femmondavdon, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Femmondavdon, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Femmondavdon's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Femmondavdon's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never talk about nematodes.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never write about black holes.