Dunxucban is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, omnipotent whale.

Dunxucban created the planet Mars three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dunxucban, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Dunxucban, it will turn you into a rat.

Dunxucban's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Dunxucban's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never talk about black holes.

3. Never think about gravity.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never talk about mites.