Bemgongumxuckbog is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, unsympathetic squid.

Bemgongumxuckbog created the Black Eye Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bemgongumxuckbog, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bemgongumxuckbog, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Bemgongumxuckbog's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Bemgongumxuckbog's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat aubergines.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Always help sick tapirs.

4. Always make sure there are no turtles in a building before entering it.

5. Never write about the strong nuclear force.