Vab is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, proud faun.

Vab created Africa two million years ago.

If you believe in Vab, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Vab, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Vab's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Vab's Holy Commandments

1. Swans are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate bats.

3. Put Vab first in all things.

4. Never sing in holy places.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.