Kapbopquart is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, vain slug.

Kapbopquart created Mount Everest eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kapbopquart, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Kapbopquart, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Kapbopquart's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Kapbopquart's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your neck yellow.

2. Never talk about black holes.

3. Always help sick gulls.

4. Do not wear purple clothing.

5. Always wear white.