Hitsograk is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, ill-tempered gnu.

Hitsograk created the planet Mars two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hitsograk, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Hitsograk, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Hitsograk's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Hitsograk's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry nematodes.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Do not trade with those who eat cucumbers.