Konloopwit is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, humane hedgehog.

Konloopwit created Asia two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Konloopwit, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Konloopwit, he will destroy your favourite star.

Konloopwit's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Konloopwit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Always help shrews in need.

3. Never paint your feet red.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never skip in the presence of ducks.