Cepmabmif is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, unfair squirrel.

Cepmabmif created life four million years ago.

If you believe in Cepmabmif, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Cepmabmif, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Cepmabmif's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Cepmabmif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tapirs.